May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
