Your mouth is God's brothel.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
