So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
