This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
