he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
