I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
