I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official drugs can't kill me
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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