Swine flu. Run for my life!
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
