can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
