HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
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I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
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Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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