Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
