hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
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