my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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