Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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