im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize