final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The struggles of a small town man whore
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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