he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
