its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
