He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
