I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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