Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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