imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
