I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You need a sexual gate keeper
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
This can only be settled by a dance off.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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