called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
