If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
