You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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