he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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