I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
