Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
This is my gift to your gina
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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