Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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