Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
