I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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