i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
