I heard we made out
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
