I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
