He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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