Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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