The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
