We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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