I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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