Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
