I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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