this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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