I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He better not be in your backpack
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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