you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize