And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
