i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
