mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
