I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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