im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can