please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life