You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.