David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
where am i from again
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
