If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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