maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
