im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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