We're facebook friends in real life
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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