He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
