They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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