In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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