Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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