some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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