So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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