No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
