I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
