So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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