pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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